I am a VICTIM of My OWN Insides

Turning Japanese coz of Kame

2010-06-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

It was 9th May 2010, when I found the best Mother's day prezzie of all... My son was on Youtube, pestering me to play an interesting reprise of AMIGO by Shinee... featuring some Ikemen for a Jdrama titled Perfect Girl Evolution (Wallflower). Interesting and funny plot (of coz nonsense adaptation of a Manga) that moves me to like hell till it sticks like glue in my freaking mind. That particular person/ actor that caught my attention is Kamenashi Kazuya of KAT-TUN. Find him easy on the eye and as sweet as candy. Fell in love instantly. Then the horror starts. I began to google him almost every day at work, finding fact and wallie i could feature on my desktop at werk. He's young... Born in 1986! Why does some particular 86'ers like Hyun Joong & Jae Joong must have that hauting smile and killer looks?? Whyyyy??
Ok! So i came back each day hoping to collect all his DVD's for all the dorama he acted in even those with cameo appreances. See Looks can really kill the focus of a weakling Noona fan like me. 1st was Lee Minho and now it's Kame! Nevertheless... Above is looks that haunts me everyday... NOW!!!

Being Transparent... Staying Strong

2009-10-04T22:34:00.000-07:00

Heyya! Being Transparent & strong at once is not an easy task for someone with doubts like me.
Easy as it is I am being to nice to almost everybody I noe and to almost anyone. Well, I had found out that being in the reject table or being the in thing is not an issue now. I will still survive. I noe, I blabber my heartfelt to my superior and a very close friend! Damnnn I cannot call anyone a friend anymore. Let me be friendless... Trust no one... You are not always correct nor you are always right!! It's you alone who can make and trust your own choices... Once, this time last week, I was laughing out loud with all these people... People I call work buddies. But I get trashed easily in a jiffy just by 1 tiny mistake and a strong influence of an individual torment and crash my whole world!
Talking about trusting.... Everyone does talked about her including me! When a person doesn't have the make-up kit or so, she came to me, to loan and still havent return to me.
I don't ask her of it but she consoled me last week saying that she's there for me...

I AM IN RAGE... GIDDYYY.... IN PAIN!!!

1 litre No Namida

2008-12-19T09:39:00.000-08:00

I was introduced to this drama by my 3rd sister, Noraishah Ibrahim a lil' too late. Nevertheless, always having to much obstruction to even finish an episode. Finally, after the whole week of telling myself, please watch this drama, I finally finished it. It was the most heart wrenching, boxes of tissues wasted kind of drama. I cried really hard and still thinking of it. It does really tell me or rings a bell that i must alway love and treasure what is around me while it last. And if it gone, take it one step at a time and remember the person.

As for my case, Bapak and Nenek, left me peacefully, asking me to learn the meaning, the true meaning of life.

Based on a diary of a patient, Kitou Aya with Spinocerebellar degeneration disease, all the hurdles she face to live her life until she died @ 25 in 1988. To be frank, she's is more courages than anyone of us!

What I had watched was from a drama series with added characters like Asou, her love interest, I must tell you I really look upon people who takes care of patients with diseases that can't be cured. I took me back to 20 days ago when I lost an aunt to cancer! Well.... It must have been hard for my cousins but live on, say Aya! Live on forever!

I would reckon you all to watch tiz drama if you are free....

Can somebody help me find the DVD! It's really hard to get and the story of Aya is really hard to forget.

"It’s ok to fall down.Anyway, we can still get up, isn’t that a good thing?While falling down look up the sky.The blue sky high up my head, seems so wide and limitlessCan you see it smiling at you?I am still alive"

Aya wrote that! It LOVELY!

SEPHORA IN S'PORE

2008-12-11T01:44:00.000-08:00

Been a Fan of SEPHORA'S goods and always religiously viewing the webbie! DFS has got one but this is even better! In the hearts of Ngee Ann City @ #B1. I am soo looking forward and so definitely going to shop there! Well at least with Sephora, I can find stuff that I can't find in Singapore like NARS, LORAC, Kat Von'D and much more!!!!

More variety, for more beauty products!!!!!!

I'm so going to save my money for the magics in the makeup!

HELLO SEPHORA!!!!

Well....Weekend Come Quickly

2008-12-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

Well... Well! The long weekend is finally over. Had a hectic week and nevertheless a mixture of emotions going on. Like a rollercoaster.

Friday 05/12/08:
Attended Kenduri @ Fajar Road. My aunt, Fatimah Osman, passed away on the 1/12/2008 in a peace. She was beautiful even at the glance. I will never forget her and the joy and all the fun I had with her! May Allah blessed her and put her with all the Salihins and please forgive her! To whoever that she has survived with, be strong! I noe it's may not be easy, but life must go on! We have to pick up the pieces & be strong again......

Saturday 06/12/08:
I went to T3 with Harith! Just the two of us and met up with my beloved family there! Wati, Mak, Bibiks & all the lovely cousins..... We sat and chat and eat kueh-mueh! The kids run around and had too much fun!

Sunday 07/12/08: Started brisk walking from Bayshore to Parkway Parade! I sweat and burn!

Monday 08/12/08:
Hari Raya Haji was fun @ rumah Bak & rumah mak! Simply we had so much fun together!
I LOVE MY FAMILY!

LOOKING FORWARD FOR THE ZOO TRIP THIS WEEKEND!!!

Lazy Bones or just FATSO!

2008-10-15T23:09:00.000-07:00

Well... I got lazy. I got more lazier nowadays..... It's affecting me lah! I dun wanna be lazy but i truly must throw this negative aura that surrounding me. Truly.... I hate my lazy self and i wanna let go of this bad habit. Kenapa... Mengapa? Or am I tired? I think I am..... Housework, I can delay until a week. I'm never like tiz before. I follow my mood to do it and it's alway my lovable hubby helping me out in the end. With my weight and Harith's going up, I badly need direction and discipline to shed the fatso US!

Brought Harith to meet his paediatrician on Tuesday (14/10/2008). Well obviously Dr. Chua got shocked to see Harith rapid growth. It was last year that she last met Harith for an appointment and she's asking me, infact interrogating me and Iskandar for a valid reason. I mean what reason should i give. Just said Harith eat when he wants to eat and his amount is very reasonable and he's always happy and active. He's very active and can play around the whole day.

So she came out with the Genetic reason. Maybe it's genetic... Look at his father. Then she suggested for us to consult a dietitian.... ask for view. I agreed..... Mus Iskandar just comforted me telling me to take everything positive.

DOES THIS PHOTO OF HARITH LOOK FAT TO YOU?

We went to see this lady and she gave me this list of what every calories intake that Harith must abide and what to avoid. She really make alot of calculation for my Harith. I really pity Harith..... To much for a 2yrs 8mths boy to take. He's not a a picky eater. He hates chocolates and doesn't like sweet stuff. His weakest link: MR. POTATO HEAD! Be it mash or fried, he could devour it in any form. Maybe it's the POTATO or the Carb intake.

I'm so worried and I got 1 month to see the dietitian... PLS HELP ME CURB THIS STRESS!

AND I NEED TO REDUCE MY WEIGHT TOOOOOOOO! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Adrenaline GILA Weekend

2008-09-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

Finally, we have came to the few final day of Ramadhan. The month full of blessed and we have had our share of hardship and fulfilment to our need. Ya Allah, please accept my loyal duty and doa to you. Only You can answer my prayers and my plee. May Allah bless me!

Since we are discussing the subject Adrenaline, might as weel we discuss the rush we are going through, cleaning, baking, hanging, sewing and wateva that is in conjunction to 1 Syawal so let start with the weekend with doing the final touches for Hari Raya Aidilfitri. It's next week, the 1st October 2008 also a very Happy Birthday to my friend, Yanti Payjan, which falls on the same day too. For me and Harith, we are well prepared to the event only I will miss my Father very much but life goes on without him as he's hear deep inside of me!

Another thing that excites me is the S'pore GP! I'm so looking forward for this event to happen especially in my home ground! I love the adrenaline rush and the noisy sound of the engines. It give you a thrill and chilling sensation down the spine. Even Harith is so into it. He got so engrossed when he watch the earlier races on TV so we bought for him a miniature Ferrari car for him to play with. Mommy and Daddy will bring you to the race next year OK!

LTA assigned my hubby and some of his friends (he's working for them) to do road closures and opening and he has been working for the past 4 night at the circuit. He shares his story with me.
First his Sahur at the circuit was a great. He packed food from home so no worries lah kan. Lately, like today, it raining heavily so it just make his work just a lil more tougher. But it is worth the working experience adding up to the moment when he saw Hamilton yesterday and gives him a thumbs up (encouragement from a support of TEAM Maclaren Mercedes). He likes Hamilton.... Not for me! I really fancy the awesome machines of the FERRARI. The day before, Massa was walking at the circuit with some other Brazilian. LUCKY Mus Iskandar.

Today is the testing event and tomorrow the qualifying round before making it to the final race day. Whoeva the daredevil who will dominate this circuit as a winner this very weekend, he's wicked! He rule the 1st eva night race and mark his name in history! I heard is 62 laps, 23 turns... Could it be the Scuderia Ferrari, Maclaren Mercedes or Torro Rosso.... Keep a look out on Vettel, that boy is really brushing up and determine or the other young blood like Kubica, Alonso... Well best of luck to the drivers. Well see the final score this Sunday!

Ready Get SET..... GO! GO! GO!

Somewhere In the Middle of Ramadhan

2008-09-14T20:33:00.001-07:00

Alhamdulillah.... Telah sampai kita ke hari yang ke 15 dlm bulan Ramadhan.
Maka nye, kita sudah serasi dengan keadaan berpuasa, menjaga adab dan tatasusila untuk menghormati bulan mulia ini. Sesungguhnya kita harus menghormati bulan ini untuk menjana masyarakat Islam yang cemerlang.
Bulan penuh berkat ini, di hiasi dengan bacaan Al-Quran, penuh kesyaduan bisa membuat seseorang itu lemah, kecil, menangis sayu akur dengan kenyataan betapa kerdilnya kita di dunia ini. Allah senantiasa memberikan kita peluang untuk kita memperbaiki kehidupan kita. Dugaan demi dugaan yang diturun kan kepada kita, adalah sebuah ujian, membentuk keperibadian iman kita. Allah Maha Penyayang dan Maha Mengetahui segala apa yang akan berlaku. Kita harus giat usaha agar puasa kita nie diterima. Tampal balik lubang yang ronggak.... This is the best time to replenish back kan!

Tadi, aku di soal teman ku yang berbangsa asing.
" Su... Why are there still able bodied youngster not fasting like you all did. I saw them happily smoking, eat in public! Like no respect lah towards those people who fast! Not fair, you know. You all trying so hard, these people never give the rest a bad name..."
Aku terkedu..... Banyak kebenaran. Dah tak boleh sembunyi lagik.
" That is the awful truthlah dear. They knew but still do.... Try talking to them. They will surely SNAP at you."
Well, aku tak boleh nafikan that this is the awful truth, visible in the eye. Kita ada sibuk memelihara puasa yang datang nya setahun sekali, org lain buat kita rasa serba salah. Ada yang makan depan muka aku lagik. Yang dekat Haig Road lain, kedai kopi cina lain. Rasa malu tu macam dah tak wujud lagik. Mentang-mentang lah kita tinggal kat S'pura ni tak macam Malaysia. Bebas buat apa. Takde badan pencegah maksiat... Takde spy untuk tangkap kita kerana kita tak berpuasa dan dengan bangganya makan depan public. Sendiri mau ingat lah dey..... Org dan masyarakat lain melihat,... Allah S.W.T lagi tahu.... Sebab tu aku pakai this term 'SENDIRI MAU INGAT. HIDUP INI SEMENTARA'. Ya Allah pelihara puasa ku ini dan terima lah amalan ku. Amin!

So skarang dah mulalah keluarga2 yang sibuk membuat persiapan lebaran. Yelah cat rumah, tukar langsir, tukar Feng Shui..... Buat kuih.... my favourite part.... semerbak lah bau dapur rumah kita, rumah jiran2 kita.
As for me, Mommy will be doing it for me and some aku beli lah dari RAJA KUIH..... Kemas rumah di lakukan part by part. Lagikpun minggu depan, Hubby dah sibuk dengan persiapan F1 di Singapura. Kena keje lembur so orite lah.... Tido rumah mak, at least leh tlg sepit kuih makmur....

So everyone, Mari kita terus kan berjuang kerana Ramdhan belum berakhir, Nuzul Al-Quran akan tiba tak lama lagi juga 10 mlm terakhir bulan ramadhan yang diberkati dengan satu malam iaitu Malam Laila'tul Qadar. Moga-moga kita bertemu dengan malam itu sambil kita menguatkan amalan kita kepada Allah Ta'ala. Insya'allah..... Ya' allah, berkatilah semua umat Islam di bulan yang paling mulia ini. Amin!

Testing

2008-08-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

There is something really wrong with my settings!
Super wrong that my font for earlier post, is in while.....

Sabar... sesungguhnya kamu tu berpuasa!

Teachers Day! Selamat Hari Guru

2008-08-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

Apa yang harus aku mulakan eh.... OK! Buat blog aku yang sudah di komplen oleh Busu kerana kekurangan entry, nah, ini hasilnya. Busu Man, jgn complain..... saya nie manusia yang lemah masih @ my infancy for the Blogger world tau......

End month of August! It's Teachers Day.... The day we dedicate our love to our teachers that has been teaching us for every term until we graduated from skool. Left skool 10 years ago but that celebration is still clear in my mind. Buat Potluck, with so many varieties of food to enjoy with. I still could recall Mr. Leong, kena sabo dekat canteen. As usual, A6 Devils mana pernah party senyap2. We had music on and lots of fun. Final year lah katakan.

I miss them, Ms. Yeo, Mr. Leong, Mrs. Bala, Mr. Bernard Teng, Mdm Polly & Mr. Paul (we always played notty prank to this very dedicated teacher. Kena bully macam nak aper pun masih mampu senyum simpul. Then time blajar, mkn dlm class sampai kena tangkap. Kena diri depan class for the whole Math period. Camp was the best.... The teachers showed their true colour outside school..... I especially enjoyed my big fling towards Mr. Teng, our PE teacher....
Aigooo...... Slamat dier tak tahu. Tapi, kalau dier tahu aper salah nya.... Miang nya aku.
Also remember the time when we begged for point if there are bother line to our score. Jgn harap dapat.... I guess ada sebab musabab lah tuuuuu.

So with thoughts, love and kisses, I wish to send my gratitude and appreciation to the teaching force that had done so much to me and shaped me to what I've become today.
Big Kudos to them. U all do good

Appreciating them, does not necessarily comes once a year! Infact, we can do it everyday. Tak payah tunggu waktu. Macam Hari Ibu, Hari Bapa...... Hari-hari boleh diperuntukan khas buat mereka. Doa dan bimbingan mereka yang kita perlu so that our life lebih diberkati. Tul tak kawan2? Bijak... Bijak....

Next year, bila Harith dah mula skola, aku antara ibu yang sibuk nak sediakan sesuatu untuk guru yang menjaga dan mendidik anak ku 3 jam sehari.... Well ! Just wait and see.....

Adios......

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL MUBARAK!
MOGA RAMADHAN KALI INI LEBIH MEMBAWA BARAKAH PADA PUASA DAN AMALAN KITA DARI YANG SEBELUM NYA.

AMIN.

Rain... Hujan.... Aigooooooo

2008-08-22T02:42:00.000-07:00

Firasat aku hari ni, hari yang cerah... cantik dan menarik.
Wati n Nadrah with mak can enjoy the fireworks display. But then now, I'm freezing. This centralised aircon is really cold. Tak tertahan you!
Well...My condolences to Cik Adam and Family of the departure of your beloved Dad.
Sempat semalam aku pergi.... Sal nari takleh amik leave.... How pathetic.

I 'm going back..... Anggaplah nie blog aku yang paling tak senonoh jalan ceritA NYER ok!
Bioll.....................
Aku nak abis kan Hello My Lady.... I am so in love Lee Ji Hoon!

To my Father... I miss you

2008-08-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

Dah hampir seminggu dan kini barulah dapat aku update Blog nie. Lama kan... Rindu seh.
Sejak kebelakangan ini, aku dikejutkan dengan banyak berita yang menyedihkan. Ramai org yang aku kenal, kembali ke Rahmatullah di bulan mulia ini. Allah sayangkan mereka, dan masa mereka sudah sampai. Well, when you got to go, you got to go. Sedih tapi ini hakikat kehidupan. Selebih itu, kita yang hidup, cuba mempertingkatkan apa yg kurang dalam diri kita, in preparation, sebelum kita di jemput pulang.

Ini membuatkan aku terlalu rindu dengan Arwah Bapak.

Bapak, I promise you that I will take care of mak. Yes I will. I love her so much like I love you. I want to see all my sister live happily and also have a good life with mak. Bapak, you noe, mak tabah tau. She's a strong lady. You must had been very blessed to have such a loving wife. She's stunning and magnificent! She's a great person.
Cucu Bapak pun dah besar. He looks like you from the back and bila dier solat, duduk antara dua sujud, wow... sama macam bapak. Along, will cry everytime Along, tengok Harith tidur having to realize, he did not have that chance to play around with you. You would be there to guide him growing up since Mak is taking caer of him. Semalam pun mak cakap, "kalau bapak kau ada, Harith ada dua datuk. Kesian, tapi syukur, dia kenal datuk dier. Tapi imagine how will that be if he's around. Pasti meriah bulan puasa ni." Mak, Along pun rindu bapak macam mana, adik2 rindukan dia. Tapi kami ingat Bapak, dalam doa harian dan sholat.
Bila nanti, Ida nikah, skali lagi kita tak ada bapak dengan kita. Tapi Along tahu bapak takkan lupa kan kita. Bapak ada di hati. Skarang, takder org nak tegur bila Along bual kuat-kuat. Bila Along mengamuk, Bapak lah tukang tegur, kena tampar, kena sepak.... Tapi tu semua Hadiah dari Hati. Tenyata Along Sayangkan Abah.
Hari tu kena marah dengan Iskandar. Dia cakap, Kalau arwah bapak ada, you dah kena tegur rabak-rabak. How can I turn to be your dad so that you remember whenever i scold you. Sayang, you'll never be my dad.
He's exceptional. Moga Allah tempat kan Bapak dan perlihara bapak bersama para anbia' dan arwah-arwah yang Salihin. Moga Amalan Bapak di terima.. Yang paling penting, moga kita semua dapat berkumpul bersama di Syurga dan bahagia di sana. Insya'allah. Amin

I LOVE YOU BAPAK. Al FATEHA!

To Bapa ku, IBRAHIM BIN HASSAN

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
You live was a blessing, your memory a treasure.
You are love beyond words and missed beyond measure.
Me, your daughter, had pick the flower, hold a breath and let you drift away with the fondest of all memories.

My Son Harith

2008-08-13T23:16:00.001-07:00

Harith Iskandar... Age: 2 yrs 7 months.

My most beloved son.... I'm so happy that you've grown up well and strong, happy and cheerful.

You always put a smile on my face and you jovial attitude make you so special to me and your dad.

You were so tiny as a new born on the 29.01.2006 weighing only at 1.5kg but look at you now. I'm glads that you grew up well with us around you. You are not a fussy person. You love to discover new things and now.

When you are with your cousin, you got a temper and tends to be a lil to overprotective over your stuff. Well, you must change on that part so lets take it slow OK. We noe you love and appreciate their presence. You are the first person I wanna wake to and greet and the last person to see also before I tuck in to bed.

We recite prayers together and laugh over some stupid antics that you do. We jammed with our beloved ROCK BAND playing Blitzkrieg Bop and Miss Murder. Wow... That is sweet time we had together. We pillow fight with your dad and when we fight, you seek to your dad. Its always him alone. You love him that much do you? I noe you love me tooo. I just can't wait for you to start school next year. Am I too selfish to send to school that early? I hope I'm not. Hehehe I noe you'll do well in school my darling.

I love you to infinity and beyond too. You complete me in ways I didn't even know I needed. It may not be easy for all the things in life that you and me are going to face together but its always be worth it. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you! I see strength in you eyes, courage in you smile and laughter.

Well most of all.... We are proud that you came in our life and so proud that you are our very own Harith Iskandar.

Today!

2008-08-13T02:53:00.000-07:00

Aku ingat aku lead a miserable life but I'm wrong. There are other people who's life is much more difficult and even at stake sometimes. So I cannot complain much. Just be thankful for all that was given to me and what that will be given.
Be Strong and be brave. Be cheerful and be Vain. Be Competive and be Smart....
Best of all... BE MYSELF AND LOVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

So skarang time to cabut.... This blogger infant will update soon.....

Toodles ley......

*I'm Not Concern That You Have Fallen. I am Concern That You Arise*

08.08.2008

2008-08-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

Hishh.... 08.08.2008 dah kunjung tiba. (Kenapa aku mengeluh lagik eh! Tak baik tau!)
Terlalu cepat masa berlalu tiba-tiba dah hari Jumaat. Rasa macam minggu ni baru mula gitu. Thanks to Busu Man, Tak habis-habis suruh aku bukak account blogger, aku berjaya menghasilkan karya dwi bahasa. Actually English aku in written is crap, berbual... lagik berterabur. Aku choose it to be dwi bahasa. Ghairah aku tau.

Narie jugak aku kebosanan buat keje yang tak henti-henti. Kesian, customer semua cerewet. Itu tak boleh, ini tak kena. Tapi aku kena faham. Customer is always right!
Right yang macam mana eh.. Hak aper yang dpt mereka perolehi hinggakan jolokkan itu kekal dalam semua business. Kita pun consumer jugak. Tapi manusia memang tak puas ngan satu benda. Tapi yang nyata customer aku skarang membingitkan aku... Freak Siol!

Hari nie, ramai orang bernikah jugak.. Well, take into the account yang hari ni adalah tarikh yang jarang jarang didapati dalam hayat seseorang. Selamat pengantin baru semua... Moga kekal sampai ke akhir hayat. Hehheheheeee

Baru aku dikejutkan oleh teman ku yang kawan dier baru meninggal pada jam 12.00 tepat tadi. Well, this makes today another day to be remembered to this person Family members. Moga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas ROh nya. AMIN.
Jadi, kesimpulannya, kata kata hikmah buat hari nie:-

"I LOVE YOU NOT BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE, BUT BECAUSE OF WHO AM I WHEN I'M WITH YOU"

Aku tahu kata2 itu lari dari topik but i dun care. I'm kindda of liking that phrase today..... Gila kan aku!

HEYYA! Let's Start Fresh

2008-08-06T02:43:00.000-07:00

Heyya.... I'm doing it again.
First was multiply now it's Blogger.....
I'm a newborn learning to crawl in this so damn good portal.
Help me